This may feel like a stretch because thoughts do feel like us. What I mean is that they are just there, racing in our minds and seem to occur without cause. Sometimes they even show up in the middle of the night when all you want is a good night’s sleep. There they are, running races around your mind. You may find yourself in the tug of war between what has happened (“it shouldn’t have”, “I should have”, “if only I had…”) and what might happen (“if only…”, “when I…then I….”, “tomorrow, next month, next year….”). What happens is we get stuck in the past or lost in the future. Ironically, it is in the NOW that we get lost in this fantasy, be it re-living the past (in the now) or dreaming or worrying about the future (in the now). What we miss is being fully present in our lives. All change, all success, all action, all REALITY is ONLY in the here and now. It is that simple.
When you find what I call your “monkey mind chatter” taking over, I invite you to be kind and gentle to yourself. Notice what is happening (“Look at my thoughts, wow there it is again…” then smile). Look around and see what is actually happening in your life. Not your thoughts…really what is happening…smell the air, touch the fabric of the sofa you are sitting on, feel your feet on the ground and focus on your breathing. Make a concentrated effort to return to exactly what is happening in the moment. As Byron Katie often says–it is not what is happening to us that is difficult, it is our thoughts about what is happeing to us that is difficult. Trust, really trust that when you are present in the NOW, you can handle anything that happens with decisiveness and clarity. Ask yourself if what you are perseverating on is really happening now or are you making it up, re-living the past or focusing on the imaginary future. Then return again to where you are, focus on your breathing and know that you are not your thoughts. Now is all you have.
All my best,
Pamela